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More spouses using technology to look for hidden assets

2012-05-14T17:25:56Z

From smartphones and computer software to the internet and social media, technology has advanced at a rapid pace over the last decade, changing the way we conduct our personal and professional lives. In fact, these advancements have also served to change the way that the divorce process unfolds for many couples.

For instance, while many spouses are now using modern day technology to uncover evidence of infidelity, a seemingly equal number are also using the technology to uncover evidence of financial infidelity. Specifically, they are attempting to uncover evidence of their former spouses hiding assets using everything from simple Google and Facebook searches to hidden GPS trackers and key-monitoring software.

"While in the past a paper trail might be hidden by a second set of books or the shredding of documents, the trail left by files on a computer is etched onto a hard drive somewhere, just waiting to be discovered," says Ken Altshuler, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers

]]> While you may be tempted to consider such measures extreme, consider the results of surveys taken by the National Endowment for Financial Education:

31 percent of spouses with combined assets admitted to being deceptive about money
58 percent of spouses with combined assets admitted to hiding cash
48 percent of spouses with combined assets admitted to hiding purchases

Still, experts advise that the admissibility of evidence gathered through so-called electronic snooping is extremely unsettled, varying from state to state, and even among courts within the same state. Furthermore, they indicate that some of this electronic snooping for signs of financial infidelity may even be illegal.

Consequently, many divorce attorneys are making sure to tell their clients not to do anything potentially illegal in their quest to discover hidden assets/debts, and rather to rely on the process of discovery.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding a dissolution of marriage, child custody or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

The Wall Street Journal, "Why hiding money from your spouse has gotten a lot harder," Veronica Dagher, April 30, 2012

Divorce rate has gone down as families have evolved

2012-05-11T15:09:15Z

Contrary to what most people believe, the divorce rate is actually falling. In fact, the divorce rate peaked in the 1970s and has since dropped, a change that researchers are attributing to couples marrying later in life and/or adjusting better to two-income lifestyles.

Marriages have gone through significant changes in the last 60 years. In the 1950s and 1960s, roles within marriage were clearly divided by gender, with men specializing in making money and women specializing in homemaking.

However, in the 1970s, the separation of roles started to become less definite. A natural result of this gradual shift was the creation of marital stress.

"[W]e started transitioning to marriages with less stark specialization, but many people married the right person for the old model of marriage -- which was the wrong person for the new two-earner marriage," explained Betsy Stevenson of the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business. "[Now,] we are getting better at picking partners for two-earner marriages."

In other words, modern-day marriages are now accustomed to the presence of two-income earners.

]]> Other reasons for the high divorce rate in the 1970s included the introduction of "no-fault" divorce, the increase in income during the post-war years, and the ability of women earning their own income to survive financially outside the marriage.

Although some of these factors still make divorce easier today, they are offset by couples picking better partners, in part because people, on average, are marrying at a later age.

According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1950 men got married at an average age of 23. By 2009, that had risen to 28. For women, in 1950 the average age of marriage was 20, and in 2009, it was 26.

"That older age is so pivotal, in terms of people being smarter about the characteristics they're looking for, the kind of person they're looking for, in terms of stability after they're married," said Allen Montgomery Parkman of the University of New Mexico.

If you would like more information regarding divorce, child custody or any other family law issue, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

CNBC, "As Two-Income Family Model Matures, Divorce Rate Falls," David Milstead, May 7, 2012

Health insurance and divorce

2012-05-08T15:30:34Z

There is no question that it can be difficult to keep track of every possible detail while going through a divorce. However, even though you may be caught up in child custody hearings or preoccupied with property division matters, it's extremely important not to overlook the crucial detail of your health insurance.

Can I stay on my former spouse's health insurance policy even though we are divorced?

According to experts, the answer to this question is a resounding no. As soon as you are divorced, you may no longer be insured by your former spouse's policy. It should be noted that this prohibition does not apply to your children who can -- and should -- remain on the policy. However, the question of who pays for the children's premiums may need to be addressed in divorce proceedings.

]]> If I can no longer be on my spouse's policy, what can I do?

Experts advise that divorced spouses who can no longer stay on their former spouses' health insurance policies can attempt to secure their own health insurance through their employers if possible.

Another option advanced by experts is that once a divorce is finalized, the non-employee spouse may qualify for COBRA coverage for up to 36 months.

Is there a better option than COBRA coverage?

Experts advise that divorced spouses who can no longer stay on their former spouses' health insurance policies should try to secure their own health insurance as soon as possible. The reason? If you are on COBRA coverage and develop some sort of health condition, an insurance company may subsequently view it as a pre-existing condition, meaning they deny coverage altogether or charge higher premiums.

(This may change under President Obama's healthcare legislation now under review by the Supreme Court of the United States.)

What about legal separation?

Some spouses are now choosing legal separation over divorce because it can enable them to stay on their spouse's health insurance policy. However, experts advise people to be cautious about this as many insurance companies treat legal separation the same as divorce. A divorce attorney can inform you of the applicable laws and whether this is a viable option.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you are currently involved in a divorce, or would like more information regarding child custody or property division, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

The Huffington Post, "Divorce questions: Can I still get medical insurance from my ex after divorce?" Jeffrey Landers, April 15, 2012

What type of divorce is best for you?

2012-05-04T12:53:15Z

You and your spouse have decided to end your marriage. But have you decided how to proceed with your divorce? As discussed in a recent Forbes article, there are actually four divorce options.

Today, most divorces in the United States fall into the litigation category. That's basically when one party in a marriage files a lawsuit asking for divorce. Often, the parties in a litigated divorce don't ever end up in court. As author Jeff Landers writes, they usually reach an out-of-court settlement.

However, just because this is the most popular form of divorce, it's not the only option. You can, for example, choose what Landers calls a do-it-yourself divorce, in which the divorcing parties handle all the details of the separation by themselves. However, Landers advises against this. And there's a good reason: Divorce is a highly complex matter, especially when children are involved.

]]> There's also mediation, in which a divorcing couple works with a neutral mediator who helps them reach a mutually acceptable agreement. It's important to remember, though, that the mediation can fail. If that happens, divorcing couples will have to start from scratch, probably with a more traditional litigated divorce.

Finally, there's collaborative divorce. In this type of divorce, couples agree to work out a settlement without going to court. To make this work, spouses each hire their own attorneys who have previously been trained in how collaborative divorces work. A collaborative divorce might not work, either. And if it fails, couples will, again, have to restart the divorce process.

If you would like more information regarding traditional divorce, divorce mediation, collaborative divorce or any other family law issue, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

Forbes, "The Four Divorce Alternatives," Jeff Landers, April 24, 2012

Are more ex-spouses turning to electronic snooping?

2012-05-02T15:24:19Z

When a spouse files for divorce, it can trigger all sorts of emotions in the other spouse from shock and sadness to anger and anxiety. While the majority of spouses are able to manage these emotions rather effectively and move forward in a rational manner, others can find themselves acting in an altogether irrational and perhaps even destructive manner.

To illustrate, divorce attorneys are now reporting that more and more people are turning to relatively inexpensive yet highly effective electronic spy gadgets to monitor the movements and conversations of their former spouses.

This includes everything from cameras that can be hidden in glasses or pens, GPS tracking software to track movements and software that can monitor internet habits.

"People sometimes they get so blinded in these custody and divorce cases that they absolutely lose their minds," said Omaha-based attorney John Kinney. "All this emotion, it cuts people's IQ in half."

]]> Kinney is currently handling a federal lawsuit in Texas filed by a husband who is alleging that his former wife sewed a small digital recorder into the blue jeans of the couple's young son in order to record private conversations between the two.

As it turns out, however, the device recorded private conversations between the husband and attorneys, therapists and family members. The civil lawsuit, which has a total of seven plaintiffs, could end up being extremely costly for the wife.

In addition to exposing themselves to civil liability, snooping spouses may even subject themselves to potential criminal liability.

"With technology getting smaller, almost invisible, and the price coming down, it does tend to encourage people," said Houston-based attorney Reginald Hirsch. "I tell people that it may not be criminal, but you can be sued for invasion of privacy. The bottom line is that if it doesn't feel right, it's probably not right ... just don't do it."

Interestingly, some divorce attorneys are now asking potential clients to shut off their phones and even remove the battery pack so that their private conversations are not overheard by eavesdropping software.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding a dissolution of marriage, child custody or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

The Houston Chronicle, "Spy gadgets infiltrate divorces as domestic snooping booms," Mike Tolson, April 29, 2012

First ever 'speed divorcing' session held this weekend

2012-04-29T21:08:49Z

Earlier this month, our blog discussed how New York City recently hosted a first of its kind event called a divorce expo, where the recently separated could find answers to all of their divorce-related questions under one roof.

Interestingly, Lisa Decker, a certified divorce financial analyst and author, recently hosted her own wholly original -- and highly intriguing -- divorce-related event this past weekend in Atlanta called "speed divorcing."

If speed divorcing sounds a lot like speed dating -- the activity where single people get together, talk for a few minutes and switch conversation partners -- that's because it is.

However, instead of single people spending 15 minutes meeting a potential partner, you have recently separated people spending 15 minutes talking with professionals -- divorce attorneys, mediators, financial planners, mortgage brokers -- who may play a role in their impending divorce.

]]> According to Decker, the point is to save people time, give them a better understanding of what services they may or may not need, and, perhaps most importantly, see if they are able to work with the professional in question.

"I'm trying to help people be smart from the start. I see too many people who don't understand what they're getting into," she said. "If you begin your divorce volatile and hire the wrong people, you're likely to end that way as well."

To illustrate the potential value of meeting with professionals ahead of time, consider the following example from Decker.

A woman and her husband divorced and, as part of the divorce settlement, her husband agreed to pay the mortgage on the house for 18 months. After this time, the wife would refinance and make the mortgage payments on her own. However, she had no income and was unable to refinance. Consequently, she missed mortgage payments and it affected the ex-husband's credit.

According to Decker, if a financial adviser or mortgage broker had been brought into the conversation, they could have informed the divorcing couple that the wife would be unable to refinance.

What are your thoughts on "speed divorcing?"

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding a dissolution of marriage, child custody or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

CNBC, "Speed divorcing: Like speed dating, only ...," Cindy Perman, April 24, 2012

Swedish researchers claim to have found 'female divorce gene'

2012-04-27T14:35:41Z

Songs proclaim that love comes from a glance, a smile, a kiss, or is in the stars. It's not as romantic to think that love might come from microscopic molecules packed into genes. According to a recent Swedish study, though, a gene may be the source of women's ability to bond with a partner. And, conversely, having an abnormality in that gene could make it more likely that women will get a divorce.

Scientists at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, found a particular gene that they say affects how much oxytocin is available to the brain.

Oxytocin is known as the "cuddle hormone" because it is connected to how strongly women feel bonded to another person. The amount of oxytocin increases during sex, childbirth and breastfeeding. According to the study, women who have an abnormal copy of this gene are an astonishing 50 percent more likely to report marital problems.

]]> "We've found evidence that oxytocin can be involved in the regulation of human pair-bonding by showing that variation in the oxytocin receptor gene is linked to how strongly women bond to a partner," said Hasse Walum, the lead researcher of the study.

While the Swedish scientists' recent work focused on women, four years ago, they found a different gene in men that had a similar effect on how strongly men were able to bond to their partners.

Does this mean that biology is destiny? Not necessarily. Many factors affect the success of marriage relationships. Just because someone has a particular abnormality in a gene doesn't mean they are doomed to get divorced.

"There are all sorts of factors that could maybe make someone more susceptible to divorce," said Professor Andrea Litvack. "You have to take into account cultural norms, family background, and personality factors."

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding a dissolution of marriage, child custody or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

Yahoo Shine, "Can the likelihood of divorce be ingrained in a woman's genes," Sofi Papamarko, April 5, 2012

Divorce, retirement accounts and QDROs

2012-04-24T13:52:35Z

As you may or may not know, we are considered a community property state here in Arizona. This essentially means that whatever assets are acquired during the course of the marriage belong to the couple 50/50 in terms of ownership interest and are typically divided as such in the event of a divorce. This applies to everything from homes and cars to bank accounts and retirement accounts (i.e., 401(k)s, profit-sharing plans, pensions).

In regard to this last item -- retirement accounts -- it is important to take the necessary steps to help ensure that you not only receive all that you are entitled to, but also to minimize any potential tax issues in the event of a divorce. After all, you want to do everything you can to have a sound nest egg in place.

Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

Simply put, a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) is a court order, judgment or decree establishing a former spouse's right to either receive a select percentage of a retirement plan balance or set payments from a retirement plan.

]]> What kind of information must a QDRO contain?

In general, a QDRO must set forth the following information:

The names of all retirement plans subject to division
The name and last known mailing address of both the plan participant and the former spouse
The amounts/percentages to be paid to the former spouse
The number of payments or timeframe of the QDRO

Why is a QDRO so important?

A QDRO helps minimize the tax consequences for both parties. In the typical scenario, a QDRO will enable a former spouse to roll over their share of retirement plan funds to an Individual Retirement Account (IRA). This will have the effect of delaying income taxes until funds are actually withdrawn from the IRA, as well as relieve the other spouse (i.e., the actual plan participant) of any tax liability.

Is a QDRO necessary?

Yes, as it will help prevent tax liability. To illustrate, if a husband is given retirement plan funds without a QDRO in place, the IRS will view the transaction as if the wife willingly withdrew the funds from the retirement plan and gave them to her former spouse. Accordingly, the wife (not the husband) will have to pay income taxes on the amount withdrawn.

Furthermore, if the wife is younger than 59½, she will more than likely have to pay an additional 10 percent penalty tax for an early withdraw.

It is therefore extremely important to have a QDRO in place if your retirement plan funds are subject to division in a divorce.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding dissolution of marriage, property division or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal or financial advice.

Source:

Reuters, "What is a QDRO? How divorce affects retirement," Andrew Chow, April 19, 2012

Smart Money, "Divorce and Your Retirement Accounts" June 22, 2010

Virtual visitation, a new tool for non-custodial parents?

2012-04-20T14:58:34Z

The internet has changed the way we shop, get our news and communicate with our friends and family members. Now it is changing the way divorced parents stay in touch with their children. And it could even have an impact on child custody, according to a columnist for the Washington Times.

Columnist Myra Fleischer writes about the rise in virtual visitation, a way in which parents who have moved can communicate and visit with their children who live in other parts of the country.

Virtual visitation allows non-custodial parents to maintain electronic communication with their children. Today, six states have laws covering virtual or electronic visitation rights. However, Fleischer writes that this trend seems to be gaining momentum. According to her column, 22 more states now have efforts underway to add similar virtual visitation rights.

]]> Assigning virtual visitation rights can prove to be complicated. Judges, for instance, must determine when non-custodial parents can communicate with their children virtually. They might also put a time limit on this communication or rule that some forms of virtual visitation -- e-mail and video chat, say -- are permitted while others -- perhaps Facebook or Twitter posts -- are not.

Fleischer writes that supporters of virtual visitation say that the process provides an additional way for non-custodial parents to stay up-to-date and involved with their children's lives. It is an especially useful tool for those non-custodial parents who, because of job changes or other reasons, have been forced to move away from their children.

Fleischer points out, though, that advocates don't recommend virtual visitation as a substitute for face-to-face contact between non-custodial parents and their children. Rather, this still-developing technology is meant to supplement in-person visits.

What are your thoughts on virtual visitation?

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you are currently involved in a child custody dispute or would like more information regarding parental rights, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

The Washington Times, "Virtual visitation: a sensible child custody option," Myra Fleischer, April 15, 2012

Will custody rights of military parents once again emerge as key topic on Capitol Hill?

2012-04-18T15:57:52Z

It's no secret that U.S. armed forces members often encounter significant legal challenges when it comes to divorce-related issues, including spousal support, child support and, most importantly, child custody.

For example, a divorced active duty parent who has full-time custody of a child may suddenly be deployed, forcing them to temporarily relinquish full-time custody to the child's other biological parent. However, upon the military parent's return, the other parent may petition the family court to make the full-time custody arrangement permanent, arguing that the military parent could be called away to serve at virtually any moment.

While it would seem that a federal law that uniformly protects the child custody rights of armed forces personnel in these scenarios would be highly beneficial, no such law exists.

In fact, the Defense Department has been opposed to the enactment of any such law for many years, declaring that family law matters were the exclusive domain of the individual states.

Thus far, the closest attempt at passing a federal law came back in 2008, when Rep. Michael Turner (R-Ohio) first introduced the Servicemembers Family Protection Act.

If passed, the bill would require family court judges in all 50 states to abstain from using deployment as a strike against military parents when making custody determinations.

"This bill does not provide an advantage to servicemembers in a custody case, it just takes away the disadvantage," said Rep. Turner of the bill.

However, the Service Members Family Protection Act -- which has passed with bipartisan support each year in the House of Representatives -- has consistently failed to overcome opposition in the Senate. Here, the Senate appears to be deferring to the judgment of the Defense Department that the matter should be left to the states.

]]> Interestingly, the Defense Department changed its position regarding the passage of federal legislation designed to protect the child custody rights of military personnel just last year.

Specifically, then-Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced that the Defense Department supported congressional efforts to create federal legislation that was supportive of military parents.

While the support from Gates was indeed valuable, it evidently came too late in the legislative session to help get the bill passed.

Now, Rep. Turner and other members of the House Armed Services Committee are actively seeking a similar endorsement of the Servicemembers Family Protection Act from Defense Secretary Leon Panetta.

"We're hoping that we can get the Pentagon on board early so we can get assistance from them with making the case to the Senate that this is an issue that needs to be addressed," he said.

Stay tuned for updates from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you are currently involved in a child custody dispute or would like more information regarding military divorce, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

Stars and Stripes, "Law would strengthen troops' child custody rights," Charlie Reed, April 10, 2012

Marc Anthony files for divorce from Jennifer Lopez

2012-04-16T14:05:53Z

Fans should not get the wrong impression by Latin superstars Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony continuing to work together on their joint business ventures, including a clothing line and reality TV show. It appears that the couple's relationship is officially coming to an end.

Anthony filed for divorce from the dancing diva Lopez last week, nine months after their separation was announced. Anthony's petition reportedly cited "irresponsible differences" as the reason for the break-up and requested that Lopez be denied spousal support, in the event that she seeks it.

]]> It was also reported that Anthony is seeking joint physical and legal custody of the pair's 4-year-old twins. In public statements, Lopez and Anthony have made clear that they respect one another and are planning to work together to raise their young children and keep their business ventures running.

The couple has been married for seven years, and despite plenty of on-stage chemistry, the two announced that their relationship had fizzled in July 2011. Since then, both have been linked to new significant others.

It will be interesting to see how Lopez responds to the divorce petition. As with any divorce, after the initial petition is filed, the other spouse has the opportunity to respond, providing what he or she wants from the divorce.

Of course, it is possible that Lopez will dispute what Anthony has asked for in his petition. For example, Lopez could ask for sole physical custody of the children instead of joint physical custody. In that case, a judge may have to make the decision for the couple based on what is in the "best interests" of the children.

Source: Fox News Latino, "Marc Anthony Officially Files for Divorce from Jennifer Lopez," Kacy Capobres, April 12, 2012

Divorce expo offers much-needed answers to the newly single

2012-04-14T16:39:34Z

In the aftermath of a divorce, you undoubtedly have many questions. Some of these questions likely have to do with more practical issues: What do I do about my finances going forward? What legal issues can arise? Will I have to change my investment strategies? However, you likely have questions that have do with more personal issues: How will I meet new people moving forward? Is my look in need of a serious update? Am I coping with my anger or sadness over the divorce?

Fortunately, those people asking these important questions may soon be able to find all of their answers under one roof.

Francine Baras, a family therapist, and her daughter Nicole Baras Feuer, a professional mediator, recently decided to host the first of its kind divorce expo in New York City. The mother-daughter team -- currently writing a divorce how-to-book -- came up with the idea after learning of a similar event held in Paris.

"Bridal magazines are all over the place. There's no divorce magazine, no divorce community, so a lot of people just rely on information from their attorney," said Baras Feuer.

]]> What exactly did the two-day divorce expo entail?

More than 40 exhibits were set up for the expo, including booths for divorce attorneys, financial planners, dieticians, anti-aging companies and life coaches to name only a few. Furthermore, guests were given the opportunity to sit in on a variety of panel discussions featuring experts from across the country.

Many attendees seemed to openly embrace the spirit of the gathering, while exhibitors relished the chance to reach new customers.

"People often don't know the questions to ask about finances when they get a divorce," said Mark Seruya, a Morgan Stanley financial advisor. "People wind up getting referrals from parents or friends. Your father's financial adviser might not be the right fit. It's a fragmented market. We want to be one of the go-to teams in the divorce industry."

Given the success of the inaugural divorce expo, both Baras and Baras Feuer have indicated that they would like to expand it to other cities.

"We provide all the resources, information and support you need for going through your divorce and creating your post-divorce family, your post-divorce life," said Baras Feuer. "If you know the right way to get divorced it can be not so bad."

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding a dissolution of marriage, child custody or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

USA Today, "One-stop shopping for divorce: From lawyers to matchmakers," Cindy Perman, April 5, 2012

Don't forget to tell your auto insurance provider about your divorce

2012-04-13T13:50:25Z

Going through a divorce will dramatically change your life. Surprisingly, it might also change how much you pay each month in auto insurance.

A recent story on Fox Business serves as a reminder to divorcing couples: They need to inform their auto insurance providers when their marriage officially comes to an end. Laws vary by state, but divorcing couples must generally inform their auto insurance providers within 30 days after their divorces are final.

This may seem like one more nuisance for divorcing couples. However, there is a legitimate business reason why insurance companies want to know about divorce: Many insurers provide discounts to married couples that range from 5 percent to 15 percent.

Accordingly, couples will probably have to pay more to insure their cars after they go through a divorce.

]]> Divorcing couples might also see discounts for insuring multiple cars and for taking out multiple policies with the same company disappear as well, once the divorce is finalized, Fox Business reports.

As the story says, most auto insurance policies also contain a clause stating that policyholders must notify insurers of any changes that they make in living arrangements and addresses. This is because these factors can change the rates that couples are charged for their auto insurance.

More importantly, if you fail to notify an insurer of an address change -- i.e., if you move to a new apartment, condo or home after the divorce -- it may result in your policy being canceled. So any claims submitted after the unreported divorce/address change could potentially be denied.

Going through a divorce is never an easy process. It can be easy for divorcing couples to forget some of the more minor decisions that will have to be made as they end their marriages. Couples, though, should not forget to update their insurance policies.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding a dissolution of marriage, child custody or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

Fox Business, "Divorcing? Break the news to your car insurer, too," Penny Gusner, April 3, 2012

The importance of effective post-divorce communication - II

2012-04-09T15:23:19Z

The painful decision to end a marriage can sometimes result in hard feelings between former spouses. For example, one spouse may have decided to seek a divorce while the other spouse may have wanted to work things out, or perhaps one spouse sought to end the marriage after discovering that the other spouse was having an affair.

Regardless of whether spouses feels angry, slighted or sad over a split, experts still advise that it's crucial to maintain an effective line of communication -- particularly if the couple has children.

The inability to communicate effectively with one another can complicate -- and even derail -- divorce negotiations, needlessly hurt the children, and make the entire process that much harder.

Fortunately, there are a few basic steps that divorcing spouses can consider to help create and preserve effective communication both during and after a divorce. Today's post will continue to examine these steps. Please see our previous post -- "The importance of effective post-divorce communication" -- for background information.

]]> Be mindful of your tone

If a divorce was less than amicable, it can be very easy to speak with your former spouse in a way that while not hostile still assigns some type of blame.

Experts advise former spouses to avoid the pitfalls of such language as "You did" or "You're so" as they will make the other person immediately defensive and derail positive communication. Instead, they recommend using "I" statements and keeping the tone positive.

It's just business

As stated earlier, it's important to maintain a businesslike and even cordial tone when communicating with a former spouse. Similarly, experts advise that former spouses avoid sharing too much personal information or using overly friendly behaviors, as this can send mixed messages and/or create confusion. Here civility, not intimacy, is the key.

Take care in your communications

Experts advise proceeding with caution when communicating either verbally or in writing with a former spouse. Specifically, they recommend abstaining from discussing anything that could potentially be used as evidence against you.

They recommend that before proceeding, you ask yourself if the information you are about to share/discuss could prove detrimental down the road. If so, they advise consider avoiding the issue altogether, or at the very least, proceeding very carefully. This can prevent both hostility and potential legal battles.

Stay tuned for more from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding a dissolution of marriage, child custody or other family law issues, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Source:

The Santa Monica Mirror, "Communicating with your ex after divorce" March 25, 2012

Mother faces criminal charges for baptizing her children

2012-04-06T20:32:50Z

In an unusual and highly controversial child custody case, a mother was ordered to face a criminal contempt hearing for baptizing her two children against the wishes of her ex-husband. If convicted, she could spend up to 20 days in jail and be fined $100.

In the present case, both parents wanted to baptize the children, however, they disagreed about when to do it. In fact, even when the couple was still married, they disagreed about this issue, with the mother wanting to baptize the children when they were younger, and the father wanting to wait until the children were old enough to understand the significance of the ceremony.

Here, the mother baptized the children -- ages 5 and 7 next month-- without telling her ex-husband. When he later found out, he asked that criminal contempt charges be brought against his wife, saying that if they had gone to mediation -- as required by a previous court order in the event of a religious disagreement -- he would have had a chance to present his argument.

In fact, he argued that even if the mediator had ruled against him, he still would have at least known about the baptisms and could have been there to see them.

The lower court ultimately sided with the father and found the mother to be in contempt of court.

]]> While the mother argued on appeal that the lower court was wrong in finding her to be in contempt because it was tantamount to giving the father's religious views on baptism preference over hers, the Tennessee Court of Appeals ultimately found this argument to be unpersuasive.

"Mother is correct that courts 'must maintain strict neutrality in cases involving religious disputes between divorced parents' and they may not 'prefer the religious views of one parent over another unless one parent's religious beliefs and practices threaten the health and well-being of the child,'" reads the opinion. "However, simply put, this is not a religious dispute."

Specifically, the court stated that decision they were being asked to make was whether the mother violated an existing court order, and, if so, whether she can be held in contempt.

Here, the court determined that the mother did indeed violate the court order, but overturned the decision of the lower court by ruling that criminal contempt proceedings were more suitable in light of the circumstances.

It remains unclear as to whether the mother will appeal the matter to the Tennessee Supreme Court.

Stay tuned for developments from our Phoenix divorce blog ...

If you would like more information regarding child custody, visitation or the custody rights of unmarried couples, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice. Names have been withheld to protect the identity of the parties.

Source:

The New York Daily News, "Tennessee mom faces jail for baptizing her two children without husband's consent" April 1, 2012