Self-compassion makes people more resilient and better able to cope with the stresses of divorce, according to a recent study from the University of Arizona.

Here, self-compassion is not the same thing as self-esteem. The latter can lead to an inflated sense of self-worth. Instead, self-compassion includes a cluster of skills, including treating oneself kindly, recognizing everyone's common humanity and mindfulness.

Treating oneself kindly means working towards forgiving oneself, rather than getting stuck in unproductive cycles of self-blame. Recognizing a common humanity means acknowledging that no one is perfect, many people have gone through the pain of divorce, and it's all part of the ups and downs of life. Mindfulness means feeling and acknowledging the painful emotions of divorce without over-identifying with them.

Interestingly, many psychologists believe that self-compassion can be taught, and the University of Arizona researchers suggested that people getting a divorce should be encouraged to cultivate these self-compassion skills.

According to study co-author David Sbarra, accepting painful emotions without condemning oneself for having those emotions can also help divorced people feel altogether less anxious.

In addition, he indicated that when divorced people choose to see themselves as part of the larger human experience, they often feel less isolated.

It is worth noting that the researchers found the benefits of self-compassion lasted over time. Nine months after the start of the study, participants who had shown a higher degree of self-compassion at the outset were still experiencing significantly fewer divorce-related emotional problems.

38 men and 67 women with an average age of 40 participated in the study. They had been married more than 13 years and been divorced an average of three to four months.

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If you would like more information regarding dissolution of marriage, spousal support or property division, you should strongly consider speaking with an experienced legal professional.

This post is provided for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.

Related Resources:

USA Today, "Self-compassion can help divorced people heal" Sept. 30, 2011